Why People Leave the LDS Church: Reasons, Resources, and Respectful Understanding

Why This Question Matters

The question of why people leave the Latter-day Saint church is not asked with judgment but with genuine desire to understand one of the most significant religious and personal decisions a person makes. In recent years, as members have gained access to more information through the internet and as the church has become more transparent about its own history, the phenomenon of members leaving has become more visible and more discussed. It is essential to approach this topic with respect — respect for those who leave, for those who stay and wrestle with doubt, and for the complexity of faith itself. People who leave do not necessarily reject God or morality. People who stay do not necessarily avoid difficult questions. Both groups deserve to be understood with compassion.

Historical Issues and Faith Crises

One significant reason members leave is the discovery of historical information that contradicts what they learned growing up. The history of the church, as documented in church-published sources and in scholarship, includes difficult chapters: Joseph Smith's practice of polygamy, which he kept secret from Emma and most members; multiple and sometimes conflicting accounts of the First Vision; the translation of the Book of Mormon and questions about its historical validity; and the church's historical priesthood ban on Black members. Many members encounter these topics through informal sources on the internet rather than through official church channels, creating a sense of being misled. The church has addressed this gap by publishing the Gospel Topics Essays on its official website, which acknowledge these historical complexities with more honesty than previous official materials. However, some members feel the damage is done — they have already experienced a crisis of faith triggered by discovering information they felt should have been taught openly from the beginning.

LGBTQ Members and Families

The church's position on same-sex relationships — that marriage is between a man and a woman and that sexual intimacy is reserved for heterosexual marriage — creates profound difficulty for LGBTQ members and their families. Gay members face the choice between celibacy and departure. Some parents struggle when their children come out as LGBTQ, particularly if they feel the church's teachings conflict with their desire to fully affirm their children. The 2015 policy restricting children of same-sex couples from baptism until age 18 caused significant pain in many families and was a direct factor in members choosing to leave. The church reversed the policy in 2019, but the harm was already done for many. LGBTQ Latter-day Saints continue to navigate profound tension between their identity and their faith, and for many, this tension becomes unsustainable.

Cultural and Social Pressures

Many people conflate LDS culture with LDS doctrine, and when they find the culture oppressive or exclusionary, they leave. The expectation to marry young, have many children, serve a two-year mission (for young men), maintain a specific image of propriety, and never question leadership — these are cultural norms, not doctrinal requirements. When members feel judged for not conforming to these cultural expectations, or when they resent the informal enforcement of cultural rules, they may lose connection to the church. The phenomenon is particularly pronounced in Utah, where Latter-day Saint culture is dominant. Convert members from outside the cultural strongholds often find the cultural pressure exhausting and decide that the gospel isn't worth the cultural burden.

What the Church Has Said

The church has responded to the exodus of members by becoming more transparent about its own history. The Gospel Topics Essays, published on the official church website starting in 2013, acknowledge difficult historical realities: "Race and the Priesthood," "Plural Marriage in Kirtland and Nauvoo," "Book of Mormon and DNA Studies," "First Vision Accounts," and others. President Russell M. Nelson has publicly acknowledged that the church is "imperfect," that members should expect imperfection from leaders, and that the church institution itself makes mistakes. He has also called members to focus on the "covenant path" — their personal relationship with God — rather than on cultural expectations or the flaws of leaders and institutions. However, some members feel these acknowledgments came too late or do not go far enough in addressing the pain caused by the church's history and present positions.

People Who Stay and Work Through Doubt

It is equally important to recognize that many members stay in the church and work through profound doubts and difficulties. Some wrestle with historical issues for years, study deeply, consult scholars and church leaders, and ultimately find ways to integrate difficult information into their faith. Some LGBTQ members choose to remain in the church and accept the restriction on same-sex marriage, while others stay active while also advocating for change within the church. Some parents with LGBTQ children remain members and work to change the culture and, where possible, the policies of the church. These members describe their journey as a "faith transition" — a process of moving from one understanding of their faith to a deeper, more nuanced understanding. Their experience demonstrates that leaving is not the only response to crisis or doubt, though it is one legitimate response. Both those who leave and those who stay are making conscientious decisions about their relationship with faith.